One day I read an article in which I was urged to ask my children why they believed that we, mothers and fathers, loved them.
I always tell them that I love them, but of course, they may not really understand in terms of «cherishing «, «loving», «caring», -they are three and five years old, If they really knew I maybe would be little scared- but I am so sure, that they understand that their mother is and will be, at their side, in the good, in the bad, when we are angry or when we are in our happiest moments.
It’s something I always tell them, because it is important to me that they know that and that they must never forget.
I tell them: I will always love you, althoug we get angry, even if we discuss, or if we think different things, if you lie to me, even if I didn´t let you eat the candys and you are telling me that I am a bad mum, or whatever…. I always always love you. But what do they understand when I say them «I love you»?
Do they really know why we love them? Or better question, do I really know why I love them?
The other day my husband asked me why I loved him. And before answering I asked him back the same question: «Why do you love me?».
His answer was because I am great.
It is a good answer because I am really great, hahaha.. but… what if I wasn´t great; I mean, I know I am not fine everyday or I even change my mood a lot along the day so… If I weren´t great wouldn´t he love me?
I know (as a grown up) that the answer he gave me is not what he really meant, but sometimes we say things that are not accurate enough. Especially for kids.
So, we have to be very careful how we express ourselves with young kids who are still developing their character or most important: their self steem.
I know that my husband loves me in the good and the bad, in health and illness and so on, but, I wonder, is there any feature in him that makes me love him more or less? I don´t think so. Maybe the intensity is not the same everytime, because our inner emotions and feelings due to anger, fatigue, estress or bliss in certain moments.
Is there any case when I don´t love him?
Same with my daughters.
I do not love them because they are extroverted or introverted, or because they do their homework or not, I don´t love them less if they bring good grades or fail, or because they know how to swim or they just want to dive, or because they give me thousands of kisses or on he other hand because they are angry with me and don´t want to talk to me, I don´t love them more because they make me compliments or love them less because they are in a bad mood, I do not love them because they do chores or pick up their toys – or not – because they go to sleep soon or because until we read them four stories they do not want to go to bed. I don´t love them more because they want to sleep with my in my bed or prefer to go to theirs.
I do not love them for all the above. I do not have a list of things that makes me love more. I love them because they are my daughters, because THEY ARE. Simply because they EXIST. I love them and I will ALWAYS do. They will always have a special place in my heart, because they are two pieces of my heart that are walking outside my body. They will ever know, that they can go wrong and fall, that they can hit and shine with their own light. I do not mind that.
Nothing will change the fact that I feel so proud of them, that my smile fills with light every time I see them or even think of them, that my eyes vibrate when I mention them. That’s all love. Mother’s Love. Love that they will never be able to get rid of, I want them to know that they can always carry my love with them.
Knowing that someone has an unconditional love for you, means that you will never fear reproaches, blackmail, falling, making mistakes, crying, trying. No.
If you have an endorsement in love, all the fear you might feel, languishes, loses its essence because we will always have a refuge to go to. So, they will always have the arms of their mother who will hold them tight until they want.
What do you think of the importance of being loved without limits?
Please comment bellow.
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